No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work (Hardcover)
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Wall Street Journal Bestseller!
Next Big Idea Club selection―chosen by Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Dan Pink, and Adam Grant as one of the "two most groundbreaking new nonfiction reads of the season!"
"A must-read that topples the idea that emotions don't belong in the workplace."
--Susan Cain, author of Quiet
A hilarious guide to effectively expressing your emotions at the office, finding fulfillment, and defining work-life balance on your own terms.
How do you stop the office grouch from ruining your day? How do you enjoy a vacation without obsessing about the unanswered emails in your inbox? If you're a boss, what should you do when your new, eager hire wants to follow you on Instagram?
The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic, but not too authentic. Professional, but not stiff. Friendly, but not an oversharer. Easier said than done!
As both organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy and insecurity to panic and rage. Ignoring or suppressing what you feel hurts your health and productivity -- but so does letting your emotions run wild.
Our goal in this book is to teach you how to figure out which emotions to toss, which to keep to yourself, and which to express in order to be both happier and more effective. We'll share some surprising new strategies, such as:
* Be selectively vulnerable: Be honest about how you feel, but don't burden others with your deepest problems.
* Remember that your feelings aren't facts: What we say isn't always what we mean. In times of conflict and miscommunication, try to talk about your emotions without getting emotional.
* Be less passionate about your job: Taking a chill pill can actually make you healthier and more focused.
Drawing on what we've learned from behavioral economics, psychology, and our own experiences at countless organizations, we'll show you how to bring your best self (and your whole self) to work every day.
About the Author
Liz Fosslien is a strategy and design consultant who has worked with companies including Salesforce, Ernst & Young, and the Stanford d.School. Liz's work has been featured on or by the Economist, Life Hacker, the Freakonomics blog, and NPR.
Mollie West Duffy is an organizational designer at IDEO New York. She has helped companies and start-ups such as Casper develop good workplace culture. She writes a blog about start-up culture, and has written for Quartz and the Stanford Social Innovation Review.
"A must-read that topples the idea that emotions don't belong in the workplace, No Hard Feelings offers a path towards a future I want to work in: an emotionally expressive, yet respectful (and high-performing!) workplace."
--Susan Cain, author of Quiet and Chief Revolutionary at Quiet Revolution
“No Hard Feelings is both a charming, sparkling read and a clear-eyed roadmap to harnessing the things that make us most human into tools that will make you more productive, effective, and happier at work. A must read for every leader and every aspiring leader.”
--Laszlo Bock, CEO of Humu and author of Work Rules!
“No Hard Feelings dispels the myth that there's no place for emotions at work. You can't communicate clearly unless you're aware of your own emotions, and the emotions you're sparking in others. You can't build productive relationships at work if you're showing up like a robot. This book will help you build the emotional discipline you need to succeed.”
--Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor
“If you’ve ever thought it’s best to check your emotions at the office door, this book will change your mind. It’s full of lively illustrations and practical examples to show how you can harness emotions to become more creative, collaborative, and productive.”
--Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Originals, Give and Take, and Option B with Sheryl Sandberg
“Warm, witty, and wise, No Hard Feelings is the missing manual for reconciling emotions with professionalism--intelligently.”
--Chip Conley, New York Times bestselling author and hospitality entrepreneur
“Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy address the elephant in the room, dissecting the ways that emotions at the office impact our ability to lead and thrive at every level of our professional careers. With compassion, research, and clever comics (did I mention elephants?) No Hard Feelings makes a real attempt at digging deeper than introvert memes to address the reality of workplace emotions we all live with.”
--Adam J. Kurtz, artist and author of Things Are What You Make of Them
"Don’t send another email, attempt a serious conversation at work, or try to follow your intuition until you read this book. Your emotional intelligence at work is about to skyrocket. Equally valuable for the person who cries covertly in bathroom stalls and the kind who buries their emotions 20,000 leagues under the sea."
--Dan Lyons, author of Disrupted and Lab Rats
"The avenue for success and happiness at work, even life, lies with emotions. Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy do a phenomenal job of helping us see the way."
--Chris Voss, author of Never Split The Difference
"No Hard Feelings is one of the most original, insightful, and laugh out loud funny business books I've read in a long time. It will transform the way you think about the role of feelings in the workplace."
--Cal Newport, author of Deep Work